'Amanda Lucianne Groce'

Amanda is my oldest granddaughter. She is Sarah's second child. I always call her 'Marilyn Monroe' because she is so quiet and speaks in such a whispery voice. I have quite a few little stories about Amanda. I will share them. When she was smaller she fell and broke her arm. They only lived down the street from me, within walking distance, so I was there more often then now. I went down the street to visit and she came out the door to greet me with a cast on her arm. I bent down and hugged her and said, "Oh, you poor baby. Where was your guardian Angel when you needed him?" She looked up at me and replied, "He was riding his bike." So.... I guess her big brother Tyler was considered her guardian angel. I laughed and had to tell everybody about it. including Tyler. I tell him all the time not to forget that he is Amanda's guardian angel. There's really only a couple of years difference in their ages, so it was probably a pretty heavy assignment for a little guy who was so busy having fun. Another time was when she insisted on helping me peel potatos in my kitchen. I think she was probably about 10 or 11. I really didn't want her to help me, because being the worry wart grandma that I am, I didn't want her to get cut. She insisted, saying she helps mama all the time. So, I gave in. We had just begun and sure enough, she cut her hand pretty good. She hadn't even noticed 'til I said, "Oh Amanda!" She looked at her hand and ask, "What happened?" "You cut your hand, honey." Before I could even get her hand under water, she fainted right on my kitchen floor. Naturally I sent for her mama promptly! LOL. By the time Sarah made it up the hill Manda was sitting at the kitchen table with her hand rapped up.... Then of course there was the time that I saw Manda's temper for the very first time! She was probably about 4 or 5. Maybe not even that old. Sarah had come up the hill with the children. They were all on the deck playing along with Davy and Matt. There was one of those helium balloons tied to the rail of the deck. I think it was a birthday balloon. I don't remember. I untied it so they could play with it. Everything was fine for the first 5 minutes or so. Suddenly they all started fighting over the balloon. Sarah took the balloon and tied it back up. All the other children forgot about it and went on to do something else, but Amanda persisted. She continued to beg for the balloon. Her mama would tell her no. She was throwing the worst tantrum that I had ever seen! Then she'd wipe her eyes and look up at me and smile. She'd say, "I love you grandma." I'd reply, "I love you too, Manda." Then she'd smile and ask, "Please, Can I have the balloon?" I'd have to say, "No Amanda, I'm sorry, but mama said no." She would suddenly let out the most terrible yells and sobs possible. She would roll all over the deck and sob like she was dying. It must have lasted half an hour or longer. I was in shock. I had never seen her or any of my grandbabies act that way. Well, Amanda is a big girl now. I'm sure the tantrums are gone. I hope. She's a beautiful girl. She even has a steady beau! He seems to be a very sweet boy. I like him. I hope that some day she has a little fainting, fit throwing, brown eyed doll just like her. See ya Later, with more grandbaby's to show off.

"Kadi Jean Lynn Halamar"

Kadi is Johanna's second born child. She's all dynamite! She sparkles like the sunshine when she's happy, and explodes when she's angry! She is very bright and outgoing, and as the expression goes, as cute as a bug's ear. We had a go-around a while back when her daddy took her from Hanna and didn't bring her back. It was a nightmare for all of us. Finally, in a court room, Johanna got her rights back to her darling little Kadi. Her daddy got custody, but Hanna could have her often. I remember when we went to pick her up and take her home with her mama. She was in the back seat of our car with her mama discussing what had happened.She was not very old. She ask her mama why she hadn't come to get her. Hanna told her that her daddy wouldn't let her. She told Kadi that we had all tried to see her, but her daddy just wouldn't let us. Kadi considered all that had been told to her, then finally spoke out. "Well, I couldn't get on my bike and come to you." Hanna and I both broke into tears. Just thinking about a little toddler hopping on her tricycle and riding through traffic for miles to get back to her mama made me sick. Something like this should just never have to happen! Kadi is an example of what we could lose. So many times we take our family and loved ones for granted, and don't realize what a blessing they are. Hanna still does not have full custody of Kadi, but I know that the day will come when she will. Kadi still cries when it's time to go back home. She is sunshine! Shame on the clouds!

"Brodie Michael Rock"

There's one thing I can say about all my grandchildren. They are all good-looking! This one went from soooo cute to absolutely awesome! Brodie is Cindy and Mike's oldest child. He is my number 2 born grandchild and he was born clear out in gold rush California. All the Rock babies were. I didn't think I would ever get to see them. Now I still don't see them enough! Brodie is very serious, but still has a very dry wit like his Dad. You have to pay attention to his humor. You may not get it. But it's worth the attention. He also (like all three of the boys) has a heart of gold. Partly genetic, I'm sure; Partly instilled by Mama. He ponders deeply all things in life, and doesn't accept anyone else's views. This boy will definately be self relient and self made. I'd like to say something very grandmotherish about Bro, but it just doesn't fit the bill. All I can say is I am constantly amazed with him. He is someone I am still learning to know, even after all these years. I can very eagerly say however that I love him with all my heart, and I am so glad that he came back to Joe. Town. My Brodie Michael Rock, solid as a rock... of gold!

My Grandbabies.- 'Aubrey Zachariah Groce'

Well, This is the first time I've added a photo. In the past, you had to use 'Hello' to upload photos, and I just wasn't sure how to do that.
I am going to start talking about my grandchildren for a few episodes. (It's about time!) This photo is my grandson, Aubrey Zachariah. He is the sweet one without the black spots. The other bathtub occupant is Justice, my oldest son's doggie. I think they've lost the soap. Maybe they are just wondering who will pee in the tub first. Anyway, you wont catch me bathing with either one of them! In the other photo, I think he looks just like his mama! Aubrey Zachariah is the youngest of Sarah's children. He's nonstop, exhausting, and well worth the exhaustion. He'll ask the same question over and over again until you finally have to remind him that "this is the 57th time you have ask and I have answered." Is he wanting a different answer, or should I check out some 'Sharpen Your Memory' books for 5 year olds? Doesn't matter. I love him just that way. Aubrey will be starting school this year, and I'm sure he'll be ready to sing for the teacher. Not only does he learn every song from the Disney movies he watches, he also learns the entire movie, word for word! (Including Gestures) I never know whether to watch the movie, or Aubrey. He has the most beautiful blue eyes, and he simply captures the heart of everyone who meets him. Beautiful blue eyes seem to run in his family. His older brother, Tyler,(19) says that he has been thinking about doing eye modeling. Now, is there such a thing? If not, then I guess Tyler will be a first. But I'll get to Tyler at a later point in 'Sun's Up.' I don't have recent photos of all my grandbabies, so I'll take them as I select photos, and wait for recent ones of others. Seems more fair that way. I can hit all the grandchildren randomly, instead of zeroing in on one family. Aubrey spent the week- end with me a couple of weeks ago. We had some great talks out on the deck. We had a lot of fun with the exclamation point. (!) We used it in all kinds of comments. We phrased and rephrased the same sentence in many different ways. He seemed to enjoy it. He was practically rolling off the glider laughing. I think he's going to be a great little actor some day. We also talked about mamas and grandmas a lot. Like any little one, he's fascinated that his mama is my little girl. His favorite comment every time I told him a story about his mama growing up was, "I was there too!" (Well, who knows.) Aubrey also told me that he and mama don't sing their bedtime song any more. It was a song that mama made up just for them. He sang part of it for me, but couldn't remember it all. That made me sad. I love being a grandma,in mediocre doses. There are times though, when it does make me blue. I miss Sarah living around the corner. I miss sitting on the back porch with her, listening to her and Aubrey sing their bedtime song. I believe that day will come again. I have to believe some things to maintain..........

Tell Me Where It Hurts.

Six children. That's what I've had. Six. It seemed to begin so long ago. First, Cynthia Corinne, then Sarah Margaret. Along came Jonathan Leigh Ray, then Johanna Lyn. Ten years later came David Edward, followed by the last, Matthew Charles.Nearly forty years ago it all began, and my baby Matt is only going on 17. I guess you could say for me, motherhood has been a career. I think it's a career that faces no retirement, because I'm still in the picking up stages. It begins with picking up toys and clothes. Somewhere following, it advances to picking up everything in general. Dishes, school books, shoes and dirty socks, etc. Picking up. Perhaps I should be called P.U. for short. Now, all along the way, I've always picked up pieces of my heart in the process. Shouts of anger that totally disarm me, denials as to whether or not I may be their mother, and then of course, the really good one, "I wish I'd never been born!" Pieces of my heart strung out all over the place. A close friend of mine wrote a poem about his Piece of Mind. He is exactly the one who inspired me to write about pieces of my heart. He's has no children. Disoriented and taken aback, he wonders about children. Lost in a trail of thoughts and memory, I conclude for him that it's OK, because in the long run, they just go away and leave you. However, they don't. Not really. You're no longer picking up toys or dirty socks, but you continue to pick up pieces of your heart. All grown up and completely on their own, they still pull and tug on what's left of your worn out, tired heart. The latest? Two of my God-given blessings refusing to speak to each other for the rest of their lives. A mother remembers these two playing together. She remembers them curled up on the bed next to each other sleeping. Even in later years, when she has grown up herself a little more in wisdom, she remembers them constantly being there for one another. Now mothers themselves, realizing the fortune that is theirs in each other, they have blessed their own mother's heart with their love and ever constant comradery. There is no greater blessing for a mother, then to see that through it all, something like this was instilled into their hearts. She knows that when she is gone, they will all have each other. After all is said and done, isn't that why she had them? She could have stopped at one or two, but seeing all this wonderful growing kinder garden only inspired her to continue to add more. Obviously, selfishness played a big role in her decision. Who wouldn't want to stand in a gentle, warm rain forever? The main purpose though, was to continue to populate their world with love and inspiration. Now, two have cast each other from their lives. This is not something that happened yesterday that will be okay in a few weeks. It has been this way for a very long time. Long enough to make even a mother wonder if there is any light at the end of the tunnel. Pieces of her heart continuing to crumble and cut into her soul. Pieces of her heart shattering and breaking her very spirit. Can this be fixed? It must be fixed! This time her heart continues to crumble. This time she has no closure, no repair. I know that it can be fixed. I know that the pieces will fit together again. I watched them fall away. Don't they realize that they are both part of me? Don't they see that they are rejecting a part of me? Can't they see that all seven of us are a part of a bigger heart? The heart that placed us all together. Rejection only spreads pain to all, like weeds in a garden. It hurts. It hurts.*****

In All Things, Beauty.

Seasons come and go. My Lilac bushes are covered with beautiful, fragant blossoms, however the Daffodils and Tulips are gone already. I have only the memory until next year. And so, God created all this for my pleasure, but only for a moment. Yesterday, I watched my own children playing and romping. Today, I see my grandchildren, and wonder who turned the page. Be it years, seasons, or just days, they fly by so quickly that I wonder if I'm really a party to all this natural production. If I pinched myself, would I wake up? I have heard it said that we are nothing but atoms blinking off and on. If this is true, then perhaps we are blinking too fast. I'm sure that I'm not nearly 57 years old, but that's what the calendar says. It was only the day before yesterday that I fell in love for the very first time! The day before that, I was making mud pies in the back yard with Janie. Today, I am pecking away on a keyboard, trying to get ahead of the blinking. Trying to keep just this moment intangible. Oh, it's not that I fear tomorrow. On the contrary, each new day is like opening a new door. No, it's not that at all. I'm not concerned with my tomorrows. I'm just longing for the tomorrows that I will miss, and missing the yesterdays that passed so quickly. If I could say one thing of any value to anyone, I would say, next time you kiss those lips that you love, tell them about today and tomorrow. Next time you have time to curl up with your children, tell them about today and tomorrow. Next time you're at a keyboard, write something down, and save it. It's not the money, or the house you can buy, or how many cars you can purchase. It's just stocking up on life, and keeping up with the atoms.

Cheated Blonde.

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
One day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde responds to her husband, "Shut up... you're next."

Just Rambling.

It's been some time since I've been here. Really don't know why. Just dry, I guess. I've been pretty busy with the Family Group. Still, There has been time to get over here. It's nearly time to get out and work in the yard more. I hope I don't start neglecting everything cyber when that time comes. It's hard to come back into the house after I start working in the yard.
My crocus have already bloomed. I have blooms ready to open on the Hyacinths, Daffodils, Tulips and so many more. I hope the snow yesterday didn't hurt them. We will have to put more grass seed out this spring. Yard's looking shabby.
I have been giving a lot of thought to my family lately. I want us to all become closer. We have not really tried since we lost mom. There's no excuse for it at all. We all have porches, yards and tables to sit down at. (Some even have living rooms. LOL) We should make an effort to get together more often. Even just for an hour or two. Of course, there are some who live elsewhere. Poor Cheryl out there in that terrible no mans land Florida.LOL. Janet Louise, in N. Carolina, Lana, Jamie, Miah, and now Michelle has gone to Chi-- Well, However you spell it. But the rest of us could get together. Maybe I'll post about it in group. I wanted to see Beth when she was back for Spring vacation, but didn't make it. Maybe I'm just too lazy!
Laziness- In my case the definition would be 1.Too comfortable to move. 2.Spoiled. 3.Not keeping the right hours. 4.Not staying focused.
After 20 years, Dave had to give up his place in the band. I just can't believe it. So sad. He has been replaced with another Bass player. Well, I guess you could say that we are going through a grieving process. I just keep thinking that he will get back on day-shift, but then still, he would have very little rest time, or time with his family. We haven't heard from Kelly or Candy at all. It's just like we never existed. Well, I guess that's the way the world is. It just goes on without you. I know though, that Dave is still the best Bass player that Kelly will ever have. He always will be.
I will close this uninspiring piece of gloom now, knowing that at least I have made an effort to come back. Maybe that will lead to something brighter. (To Grade This----F)