“Dave, Skyler needs to go out and my hands are full!
Dave, take this stuff or let Sky out! Dave, Skyler needs to go out and my hands are full! Dave!”
I woke up because my dreaming was verbal.
My husband was hollering in his halfwake state “What’s the matter with ya’. ” “I’m sorry. I guess I was dreaming. Skyler doesn’t need to go out.” “No. Go back to sleep.”
He went back to sleep and I lay there, crying softly.
No, Skyler didn’t need to go out. Skyler is gone. He had been gone now for a couple of days.
We had Skyler for about 16 years. Now we don’t have him any longer. How do you say good-bye to a dog that you find sitting outside the bathroom door, waiting for you? How do you say good-bye to the dog that you are so use to climbing over to cross the kitchen. How do you say good-bye to someone that close for 16 years? We were attached, literally! There was an invisible cord that would make me so angry at times, I would swear out loud. Now, oh how I wish that cord was still there.
He was Jonny’s dog, but I was mom to all, including Skyler. There were special moments when I would look in his face and tell him he was the most beautiful dog in the world. He heard those words often. He was certainly aware of this fact.
Many times when I was working in the yard, my heart would start beating too quickly. It does that sometimes. When this happens it makes me very weak. Skyler would be nearby, and he knew. I never said anything to him! He just knew! He would come to me and stand close, so I could use his back to stand to my feet. Then he would walk with me into the house and stay with me until I was OK.
I could go on and on about the most wonderful dog in the world.(I told him that quite often too.) But surely I would never stop.
In his later years Sky was found to have tumors. They could not be removed, because he was too old to undergo the surgery. Skyler became very senile. Nancy Reagan said of her husband’s condition, that it was the long good-bye. That is so true. Skyler was here, but he wasn’t. He was not always aware of what was going on. The tumors made it very difficult and painful for him to lay down. That, along with the senility produced a dog that, most of the time, would remain standing with his head down staring at nothing. I know that Skyler is no longer suffering or in pain. I know that he has his beautiful blue eye that was lost to glaucoma back once again. I am a firm believer that animals go to Heaven. I know that he is happy once again.
Now, I just have to know how to get through this. How do I get to a point of acceptance and Ok-ism?
I love you Skyler. You’re the most beautiful and wonderful dog in the heavens.
